Some days (or weeks) things do not gel, no matter how much you would like them to. I try to keep in mind that these are first world problems; they are not earth-shattering, and should not get me down. But it doesn’t always work.
Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful that I have all the essentials of a good life. I’ve got a roof over my head, food in the pantry, and a fantastic husband I love dearly. But, when you finally decide to go after a dream, you want things to happen – like NOW. You know? And when things don’t fall into place as quickly or smoothly as planned, well… let’s just say I have never been a very patient person anyway.
So, what has me griping, you wonder?
I am still waiting for my firing that should have been completed by last Friday. Since I do not have my own kiln yet, I have paid a studio for use of theirs. Which I am not allowed to run. So far, it looks like firing won’t even be completed by THIS Friday. Needless to say, I am currently not impressed with their service.
I am also using new glazes for this firing. Without familiarity of how they finish, or how much these glazes run, self doubt and paranoia are intensifying more with each passing (unfired) day. I am having visions of glazes running down kiln shelves, and ending up with a batch of the ugliest pots known to man. Could it happen? Sure. Is it a realistically likely scenario? Probably not. Does knowing this stop me from thinking it? Heck, no!
What would keep my mind off these things is throwing more pots. But it’s been so rainy and humid lately that I can’t get my recycled clay to dry out enough into a good throwing consistency. For every day I get of beautiful throwing, I seem to get another two of yucky, over-wet recycling mess. And throwing a few dozen plates just won’t do it for me.
Adding to that the usual personal finance issues, some new extended family issues, and another day that looks like rain – we can safely say that I am having difficulty maintaining a positive attitude today.
Sigh! Hopefully, some of you out there know what it’s like. And those of you hitting roadblocks (large or small) while following your dreams can know you are not alone. I’m not looking for pity here, but needed to vent a little. Venting, in small doses, sometimes makes it easier to move forward.
As my grandmother used to say, “This too shall pass”. I would just like to add to that bit of wisdom “Please hurry up already!”.
5 replies on “Impatience, Aggravation, and Frustration”
Patience, my dear… it’s hard to learn, but well worth it….our studio mantra is “don’t rush to ugly.”.. and I am the queen of testing every glaze repeatedly–all my mug/bowl mistakes get fired and used for testing! this is all practice for when you get your own kiln and are in charge of EVERYTHING….it’s all part of our silly learning curve… pot on! I’ll keep in touch….
Thank you, Maggie! I appreciate the encouragement. I have been throwing since 2005 , but this is the first time I have forayed into firing without being affiliated with a class. It’s exhilarating, frustrating, and a great learning experience. I had gotten so used to the glazes I had been using, I forgot what it was like to be in new territory. My first teacher I had, in Pennsylvania, allowed me to mix test glazes, as well as the batches that he used for his classes. When I moved here to North Carolina, I was not able to do that in the classes I have participated in.
How did the firing go? I know the feeling about having days where it’s difficult to keep positive, but then hopefully these are balanced out by the fantastic ones where things go well and you make real progress. I’m just about to take the leap and buy a kiln. I’ve been borrowing one for a few months and I need to get something younger/more reliable. Looking forward to seeing some of your pots soon.
Hi Juliet! Sadly, it was not a good firing. I fired approximately 30 pieces, but am only satisfied with a few of them. There were 2 cracked pots, but mostly running, pinholes, and just general ugliness. I am trying to look on the bright side. Since they were new glazes (to me), at least now I know how they react.
I’m firing just now – praying that all comes out ok tomorrow. I can tell you that smashing bad pots is very satisfying. Somehow gets it all out of your system!